Today was the day of the week that we go to the grocery store. It is the $5.00 specials on Monday with lots of sales and lots of senior citizens shopping at the grocery store.
In the last two days we had an extended date on Friday with two medical appointments, a beauiful lunch out, finishing with a shower. On Sunday we worked on a number of projects around the house and I'm afraid I ignored my self-care.
This morning I hit a Wall. The Wall is that place for all of us when we can go no further. It is the jungle trek where the hero can no longer take the next step. It doesn't matter what the next challenge is ahead for us and how deadly or gentle it might be - we are done. As a friend of mind used to say, "Stick a fork in me Martha, I am done!:
I used to ignore my Wall and just kept pushing forward but in today's world - I don't have that choice anymore. When the Wall hits there is no longer a way to sneak under the Wall or add energy to trick the wall. The Wall is at a place in my life when it is all enompassing.
So it is now 6:30 PM and I have been basically sleeping all day. I've been able to get a meal in me but again I am ready to go to bed. The Wall has me stopped.
So I am right in the middle of morphing my relationship with my wall. I am learning how to live with it in my changed life. It doesn't always work because it sneaks up on me. I forget and then the wall reminds me.
All of us in our lives have a wall. It is up to us to check into our changing relationship with our personal wall. Our wall can be another great tool to provide motivation to our process and progress. It can also be a quagmire of quicksand holding our feet in place knowing none of what is next, only that we are not moving.
Every part of who we are is a piece of the Divine that comes together to provide a portion of our whole. All of it! Thus even when we think it is something holding us back it is part of the beautiful magnificence that compramises the Divine.
Our only job is to move our defaults in even the arena of the Wall and know this too serves us well and with clear protocol. Is it easy? You can see what I've gone through in the last three days as I try to see this as part of the flow of life.
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