Strength

Sometimes I have no idea where I am goin when I sit down at the keyboard. Then the direction appears as if by magic and off I go.

This coming Monday I will have a surgical procedure to remove the catheter in my chest. It puts undue strain on my heart and leaves me high risk for infection. It was used as the first primary hook-up for my dialysis until my fistula grew up. As you've read earlier,, my fistula is named Frankie and he is from Brooklyn. He has tremendous swagger and he is doing a wonderful job taking over in dialysis. Each visit Frankie gets attached as the in-and-out portal for the process.

In addition, all the remaining medical equipment in our house will be picked up this week. It will be as if I am a normal human being. It brought to my mind all the amazin things we've gone through. I also realize many of you have been through similar challenges.

I was in the hospital and re-hab for 57 days. I was reflecting that during each day my wife's life was on hold. Each day she had to cime to the hospital or to re-hab to visit me. Each night she would come home to an empty house. She told me that by the time she got home she was so tired that all she could do was to prepare for the next day. Meanwhile she was taking care of the home chores and the tasks that were needed in hospital or re-hab. I am in awe of her strength, especially in the beginning. We were not so sure I was going to make it. we couldn;t see a light at the end of the tunnel; hell, we didn't even see the tunnel.

Then I stop and think how many of you have gone through aom of the challenges - or are going through the same challenges right now. God bless each of you for the courage to keep moving forward. It again points out how important it is to support each other. Sometimes we just have to ignore someone trying to do it alone and step in to help.

I read a book written by a man with terminal cancer. He said one of the difficult things was people who asked "How can I help?"

His answer is just help. Help him put out the garbage cans for pick-up. Help him with the simple things. When he hears "How can I help?" it is too broad; he doesn't have an answer. It doesn't mean he doesn't want help.

I also reflect on the tremendous support staff of medical people who helped me through the process. Especially the times when it wasn't so dignified. The first time I had to be cleaned up taught me acceptance to a whole new level. The fact they were able to clean me up with a smile on their faces was a miracle. I realized if I could get through such challenging things I could get through anything.

I give great thanks when I showed up as the morose, whiney, giving up kind of Dave. They reached into my darkness and reminded me /i had value. What a precious gift!

I also want to affirm that every prayer, every note, every visit made a big difference to my recovery. I now realize I have an obligation to each and every member of the support team to keep getting better - to all of you. You all believed in me so it's my turn to believe in me.

I am made in the image of God, When i forget I then I am surrounded by angels to remind me. I have the responsibility to work in partnership with all my angels and not let them do all the work.

The coolest thing about this - I am not alone. Each of us has this kind of team filled with angels. Support ypur team by showing up in full mindfulness. Somewhere deep in the ethers of the universe there is a room filled with our angels - eager and ready to help. What a blessing...........