Our lives are filled with forgetting and remembering everything. We then add incredibly impossible self-standards about how we show up. They are standards that can't be achieved.
I always talk about how the world around us keeps presenting a moving achievement target. I keep on trying to work toward 'it is what it is' approach to life. Yet stop and think of the matrix framework we are dropped into.
First we end up in an educational system whereby everyone is on a comparison wheel. I am reading on a fifth grade level; my math skills are on a third grade level. Everyone is asked to learn a certain way; within a certain method of learning Wait a minute, human beings can't do that!
Then to top that everyone is rated. He ranks number 17 out of a class of 68. Then we are constantly reminded where we are in the process.
Then we walk out of our home - our home that is filled with things that feed us and make us feel good. Yet we watch and participate in a media campaign that wants to remind us what kind of car to drive, what type of hair conditioner to use, what type of food to eat, and what type of vacation to take.
It then takes a tremendous amount of self-value to make self-informed decisions based on what we think is best for us. In fact, is it even something we can do?
So how did we end up with situations where it takes work to make choices of what we want? We can get so caught up about what are the right choices. We make choices based on what the world sees as correct choices. We make choices based on what other people think.
I'm reminded of the husband and wife who went in for marital counseling after twenty-two years of marriage. They had finally started to get into some deep and profound conversations. In one session, they discussed the traditional Sunday meat loaf meal they had eaten since the start of the marriage.
She said, "Remember, it is a time of sharing and I make sure you have your favorite meat loaf every Sunday night.." He replied, "But I hate your meat loaf!" "Wait a minute," she replied. "I've always thought you've loved my meat loaf; why did you keep on eating it for twenty-two years?"
He looked at her and said, "I didn't want to hurt your feelings." So in this relationship he had spent twenty-two years eating a food he did not like so he would not hurt her feelings. Isn't that taking it a little bit far?
It's the same kind of thing we do around 'first date posturing.' We make sure we're doing the right thing so our date will think the best of us. Then somewhere down the road, the person changes a type of character reaction and we look and wonder.
Decide what you like and decide what you don't like! Be honest in your opinions. Take off the mask. We forget a truth that is universal.
We all think we are wearing a mask to help hide and protect us. What we always forget is that the mask is transparent and everyone sees exactly who we are. Everyone knows. Everyone can see who we are. Everyone can see who we are..........
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