There is the oddest quirk about communication. It forms wonderful patterns and when the patterns don't have the correct flow red flags go up for me. I have a wonderful sense of the flow and it is actually jarring when the flow is interrupted. Let me get simpler because for many this doesn't make sense.
When I am in conversation with someone, now and then they will look at me and say, "Now let me be perfectly honest" and that raises flags. My internal response is "Does this mean you haven't been totally honest with me thus far?"
Another red flag is when someone is telling me something they will do for me. However they do it while their heads are moving from left to right showing a 'no' in their response. The oral communication does not align with the body communication.
We do that all the time and most times it doesn't cause problems. However it is not the normal flow of our lives and there is some dissonance for us. It will not feel completely right. A couple blogs back I ended the blog reminding us that have the feeling that we are all wearing masks over the truth of who we are. It means we can present something to the world that may not be totally who are. But I also mentioned the other half which is that the mask is transparent. People know who we are. True, it might be knowing of all the details and minor points but in the end they know.
Thus the feeling sometimes is that the truth is the scariest part of living life. I mean to really share who we are and how we feel.
I talk often about the ten years I was working with Understanding Yourself and Others. It was a national program based on the teaching of Alfred Adler. Adler was a compatriot ot Freud. However he believed that events in childhood determined personality beliefs. He also felt if we could go back and re-live and release the traumatic events there would be a strong release.
Thus for that period of time I did one or two weekends a month participating, and eventually leading some weekends. I discovered that allowing my feelings to flow helped spiritual growth. It came to the point that my default positiion was sharing from the depth of my heart what was occurring internally, thus becoming tremendously vulnerable. I stepped away from ever seeing vulnerability as a weakness. I always saw it as a way to grow closer.
This means that at any moment in time with another person is a moment in time when full Divine intervention can occur. Two people can step into the same Divine space - no matter when or where or the size of the crowd around.
But again for most people it is a very scary thing. In fact, I have had people who have experienced this sacred time with me and then disappeared because it is threatening.
So as each of us seek to deepen our relationships this approach is critical. In sharing, we are truly saying to our partner 'I value you!' I value Rachel with my life. It is the very moment I lay on my back exposing my belly and trust completely. What an uplifting boost to our back and forth.
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