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Out of Time

Another wondrous spring morning. We have planted and our new born plants are filled with life and wriggling in anticipation of growth. I'm still amazed at how the crops start to grow and within a week or two the small plants have been replaced with huge growth. The weather seems to be cooperating and all is as it should be.


It seems to me there are two types of people in the world. The first live in the world and spend time indoors with air conditioning and comfort. Their idea of "roughing it" is sitting on the back porch of the Lodge in Yosemite watching the waterfalls while sipping a cocktail. Then off to a comfortable bed. They see weather changes as impacting how they will show up in life.


The second type live in the weather. If it is hot, they are still out in it (with a hat). I read a book written by someone who had been in the Marines. His adage was around training. It was "If it's raining, then you're training!" This applies to my relatives in the Midwest. Being a farmer and raising crops means that everything is done around the weather. If there is a freeze coming, it may be time to get the fans on in the fields to protect the vineyards. I love in college when we were out running and it started to rain. My running partner reminded me that we are not in The Wizard of Oz and would not melt with water.


So I'm watching the weather as my little babies rise their green heads to the sky to grow. They need to stay away from freezing and get plenty of hot weather in the near future to produce wonderful tomatoes.


This reminded me of the time element in our lives. Again there are two types of people. The first are always in the flow of time. They innately know what time it is and are never late for anything because they know where they are in the time continuum. This seems strange because most people are in this category.


But there is another strain of people. They live outside of time. For them, there is only the now. They believe there is no being late; things start when they arrive. So when they say 2 PM they really mean 2-ish. I knew a couple who owned a tennis club in central California. The wife was notorious for being out of time and was always radically late for everything. This was so accepted that when the club had a huge surprise birthday party for her they had all the guests show up at 2 PM. In order to get her to the club, they told her she had a very important meeting at 1 PM. She showed up at 2:15 PM.


It seems to me these are some of the things that are important in a relationship. Someone who is always on time in relationship with someone who is always late takes some working on issues. This the part of a relationship around acceptance and negotiation and communication.


So in your relationship are you in time or out of time? Are you an indoor person or an outdoor person? Are you an early bird or a night owl around your sleeping. It;s all part of the relationship process of becoming a family.

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