Last night I watched a professional football game. After the game they interviewed a couple of the players. One of them was George Kittle, a tight end who talks to everyone on the field and plays the game with the joy of a child. The other was Brock Purdy, the starting quarterback. I love what Brock said at one point. Kittle had just made another outrageous statement and the interviewer held the microphone toward Purdy.
Brock said, "This is George's world; we just live in it!" It brought up the question for me about how we show up in the world. Do we spend all our time trying to fit in someone else's world? This is the step of checking out everything else prior to making our decision or commitment. It is getting caught up trying to please others. It is so far away from being our authentic self. It is so far away from having our own voice. We become a reflection of the world around us. It is as if we hold a mirror in front of us and those around us only see their own reflections. It is so far away from self-care.
Earlier in my life, I lived in such a world. I would prepare to talk to someone by running an entire set of possible conversations based on what might happen. I spent so much energy trying to be prepared for the next step. This meant I did not trust that whatever came up I could handle. But my personal life was a mess. I only did self-care for everyone else. I did years of work learning to change.
My universal test (because the universe will always test us to make sure we really are changing.) occurred as my girlfriend and I were walking out the door to the symphony. The symphony had gone bankrupt (with our season tickets!) the year befor and this was their comeback concert.
The phone rang and it was a personal friend who had some serious mental issues. She said she was having a breakdown day and needed to see me. I told her I had an event I could not miss and in the interest of my self-care, I asked her if I could get back to her later in the day. She was not happy. I got her to contract with me she would not self-harm or harm anyone else. We then made an appointment to meet a few hours later, It was such a change for me/ I was proud and I know you want to hear what a clean decision it was. Nope, I sat in the symphony performance full of worry about my decision. In the end, it all turned out well.
Our authentic self has a personal philosophy around "blooming where you are planted," This means whatever the circumstances or where ever it is, you remain authentic. It truly is your world; everyone else just lives in it! It means standing firm with your voice and speaking it even when not popular.
My mentor Phil always said that each week if I hadn't pissed someone off, I wasn't being authentic. I believe that because each of us us such a unique expression of who we are. We are so different in so many ways even though similar.
So what is your world like? Is it yours or are you living in someone else's world? Use that voice because it is the only one you are given............remember Oscar Wilde once said "be yourself because everyone else is taken."
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