I love people! The human mind can come from any direction and be so different and yet it is what makes the world fit together. Is seems like as long as we communicate and have conversation we will always be able to work together. I know that if you've read this far, all you can see is the violence and confrontation and trouble in the world.
But I send my blog today to all of us wanting love and wanting to be valued. Our world today is not built for violence and confrontation to be the natural flow. The truth is that we have to work on communication to make the value and love show up to the highest level.
One of the partners on my construction team passed away in the last month. He was one of a kind. I remember working with him on a huge job site. He was the superintendent on the job site so he was in charge of all the men. He had started this particular day with a man who arrived late to work. The man showed up in a surly mood and had been talking back to some of the foremen. My friend came up to him and asked him a particular question which seemed to take the lid off the pressure cooker. The man began a loud and profane-filled tirade in my friend's face. My friend waited until the tirade slowed down and then just looked at the man silently for a moment.
He said to the man in a voice filled with compassion and care, "Aw, it sounds like you're having a really tough day!" The man just stood there speechless. His face went through a number of emotions and then finally seemed to fall apart. He said, "Yeah, I'm having a really bad day!" My friend offered to buy him a cup of coffee and sat with him and just listened. Everything changed because he valued that man and listened. It is all any of us really want.
We forget so often to place ourselves in someone else's shoes. It's the man riding the subway in a big city on a Sunday morning. On one of the stops, a man came aboard with three small children - two girls and a boy. The man looked very tired and seemed a little out of it. Soon the kids were running up and down and screaming and yelling. The man riding the car waited for this parent to step in - and he didn't. Finally after a period of time with this inappropriate behavior the man walked over to the parent and said to him, "Sir, I don't mean to bother you but could you calm your kids a bit. They have taken over this car and are causing some problems. The man just stared for a moment and then looked up.
He said, "I'm so sorry, we just came from the hospital where their mother just died. They don't know how to work with that and frankly I just don't know what to do!"
It changes the whole story. Realize in every case there is more going on than we could every realize. Take a breath and always slow down to understand. It is always another chance to hold sacred space!
Comments